Day 18 - Daylight and Salad

Tonight I am thankful that it is still light outside at 7:45 pm. Summer days are the best because as long as you are off at a normal human hour you get some sunlight in your day. The days are longer and because of it you have more energy. This is not to say I was a ball of fire tonight but, I did get treated to a lovely dinner with my mom and grandma at Yukon Jack's. And now I have made it home and it is still light outside! I would seriously love it if days were this long all the time.


I am also thankful that I took the time to make a salad to take to work today. Yes, the Yukon Jack's mini pulled pork sandwiches on potato buns negated all of the good work having a salad for lunch did for me today but, it was a step in the right direction. Tonight I saw an absolutely hideous picture of myself that I may share at some point. I looked at it and thought, "Am I holding a pillow or stuffed animal on my lap?" But, alas the answer was no; it was just my big belly. Seriously? This is what my belly looks like right now? And the arms? Blah. Anyway, seeing the picture may have inspired me to get a grip! I have only gone swimming once this year which is totally unheard of for me. Anyway, hopefully I will swim some laps soon and maybe even lay out in the sun if I can steal a little time away ...

Day 17 - Tri-Tip

So, yes, I am grateful for tri-tip. And why not? It's delicious. A California specialty, it can be difficult to find in other parts of the country. I know because when we lived in Kansas there were absolutely no tri-tips at the Hy-Vee.

Mark makes the best tri-tip ever and tonight he made two of them! We ate one for dinner and plan on using the other for sandwiches this week. It was absolutely out of this world delicious. Perfectly cooked. Perfectly seasoned. We had a nice salad and brown rice to go along with it. Even Merrill took a few small bites of tri-tip!
Anyway, I am grateful for a good meal while watching the Giants game.

Day 16 - Jack and Merrill

So, right now the baby is standing here crying at me. She was asleep on the way home but the second I got out of the car Jack yelled a question at me really loudly, thereby waking her up. I am totally tired. I forgot to take my antibiotic this morning and left it at the house. It is only a twice a day one so hopefully I did not royally screw it up. My pants nearly split today at work so they are currently being held together by duct tape. I am just walking in my door at 9:30 at night after leaving at 8:30 this morning. I have to be awake with kids ready at 9 am tomorrow so that I can take the kids to the Janzen's house so that Ken can watch them tomorrow until Mark gets home from Temecula. I almost passed out at work today while I was unloading boxes because it was like a million degrees in there. Customers were needy as hell and I had two of the three rudest customers I have had the entire time I've worked at Cost Plus. So, this it the day I knew would come. The very last thing on Earth I feel like doing is blogging about how great things are.
But, they are and that's they whole point of this blog so, lets get to it.
Jack is sweet and he just gave me a big sweet hug. He will be sleeping in Mark's spot again tonight. I know he is getting to be a big boy now but when I look at him I sometimes see my beautiful little boy. The one that used to sing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" to me. He used to play with my hair when I would tuck him in at night. That used to put us both to sleep.
Jack went to his first party on his own today. It was a swim party and now his shoulders are pink with sunburn (that should keep us warm tonight). He was beyond excited about going to this party and apparently it did not disappoint. Thanks to my mom for dropping him off all the way out by Wild Water Adventures (or Clovis Lakes as we old-timers call it). So tonight, I will read him Harry Potter even though I could fall asleep at this instant. After all, he deserves some good mom time.
So, I am thankful again for both of my beautiful children. I know that even though times are crazy busy and hard, their childhood will not last forever. I am off now to enjoy what I can of it on this night.
Leslie

Day 15 - Being Yourself

So today I met a couple of people that I thought were interesting.

First, Mark and I met a man who is surely a multi-millionaire. He owns two shopping centers in two nice areas of Fresno. He has owned one of them since 1969. And I'm not talking ghetto centers. I mean nice, good, successful shopping centers. So, why was I so impressed with this man? First, he was meeting with us personally to show us a couple of spaces he had open in his centers. He rolled up to our appointment in a beat up red early 90's pick up. I am guessing there was no A/C because his window was rolled down in this heat! The paint was totally faded and actually completely gone in spots. He hops out of his truck and is wearing a purple t-shirt and shorts. I don't know, something about this guy just struck me as cool. As we began to talk he got even cooler. He just seemed like some regular old guy - like he lives on social security and a little pension from some job that he had for thirty years. He was generous with his time and modest except for when I inquired as to if he had children, which he then bragged on. Anyway, he was just really neat. There was not a pretentious bone in his body.

The second interesting person I met today was a - well, I guess she was a transvestite? I can't say for sure if there had been operations or whatnot. Perhaps she was simply a cross-dresser. It was somebody who is or was a dude who was dressed like a lady (enter appropriate Aerosmith hook here). She was nice and was looking for wine for a party. She was dressed like a housewife from another time; like a sitcom mom. Florence Henderson might even be too modern. Think June Cleaver. But part of what was so striking, other than her general friendliness and 5 o'clock shadow, was a manly looking tattoo on her forearm peeking out from under the short sleeve of her delicate printed pink blouse. I was desperately trying not to be distracted by all of the contradictions that seemed to pull together and co-exist in harmony on this very intriguing person.

The third person that I spent some time with today was my brother. When we were teenagers he learned how to play guitar. He would play songs that we knew back then and I would sing. It was always fun. Once we were both married I ended up taking a guitar class through Fresno Adult School. I learned a few basic chords and from then on I have enjoyed messing around with the guitar from time to time. I am no good AT ALL but, my real goal was never really to play well, it was just to learn to play well enough to sing along. About 6 or 7 years ago I wrote a song. Most of my family has heard it but somehow Ted had not. So, tonight he came over and I played my song for him. In return, he played two of his songs - well really two and a half - for me! They were fabulous! I feel really fortunate to be one of two or three people who have heard them.

It's really difficult sharing not only your voice with someone, but also sharing music you have written. Writing songs can be sort of a private thing. It's really hard to lay something out there and say, "I wrote this and I like it." Sometimes when I start messing around with songs I think, "Blah, this is so cheesy and bad", and I quit. So, inspired by this evening, I may see if I can come up with a new song or two for him to play.

My point with these three stories is that there are some people who try and hide who they are. Worse yet, there are some people who try to intentionally deceive you. But, my favorite kind of person is an authentic person: someone who is open and honest about who they are, what they do, what they hope to do, and who they hope to become. All three of these people were laying it all out there for me today. The millionaire seemed to be doing what came easy and naturally to him. The transvestite probably had some sense of courage that many of us can't even fathom having. And my brother who has an open and honest character tonight demonstrated a subtle courage needed to share something very personal like music.

So today I am thankful for all of those who have the courage to be open to our crazy world and the people in it!

Day 14 - AZO

Umm, ok I'm having an issue that girls sometimes have. Apparently, since I never had a urinary tract infection as a child, life has decided to play catch up with me. So, today I am beyond thankful for AZO. That stuff is a miracle.

Day 13 - Kona did not get hit by a UPS truck

Today I am thankful that Kona did not get hit by a UPS truck which is exactly what almost happened at about 6:00 p.m.

Day 12 - Dads and Mark Janzen

OK, OK Day 11 and Day 12 are being written on the same day. Whatever. I was busy yesterday and super tired last night.

So, today, I am of course thankful for all of the fathers in my life. My father, my father-in-law, my husband, my brother, and my uncles. Dads have a special place and a "I will do man stuff for you" mentality that is unparalleled. Teach your kids to love baseball? Dads. Teach them golf? Dads. Show them what a real fart sounds like? Dads. Fix your faucet? Dads. Bring your trash cans in just to be nice? Dads. Show your kids how to fish? Dads. Perhaps as the blog goes on I will single them out one by one and do a whole bunch more on them.

But, for today, since I am right now ignoring my family I will just say that I am glad that I picked Mark Janzen to the father of my children. First of all, have you seen my kids? They are genetic masterpieces (if you ignore the whole Lynch Syndrome cancer danger situation). Secondly, he is a good cook (thank goodness one of us is). And last, while sometimes he completely baffles me with his craziness, most of the time I think he is very sane and, in general shares my values and beliefs. Plus he is an amazing photographer and he likes to travel with me. We both like to drive and that is a problem but, we'll ignore that for now!

So, hooray for Fathers' Day! And today I will keep my mouth shut about zombie shooter video games blaring through the house!

Leslie

Did Leslie Get Her Groove Back? - Day 11

Amid rumors of mid-life crises and general unrest comes a new report regarding wife and mother of two, Leslie Janzen. Sources confirm that on at least two occasions Leslie Janzen's mojo has been sighted. Reports of her previously believed to be extinct mojo have given rise to new questions: will her mojo make another appearance and to what degree will her mojo come back?

ITD reporters spoke with Janzen herself who confirmed that within the last week she has both been told that she looked like a movie star and had been hit on by an older, yet not grotesque gentleman.

"It's true," Janzen said, "There was this guy who hit on me at work. When I was younger I used to think it was really sleazy if an old guy tried to pick up on me. But, you know, even though this guy was most definitely old enough to be my father I was taken aback and flattered that anyone, anywhere would try to hit on me."

Janzen says that the man, a customer at her store, was repeatedly complementary of her and engaged in a conversation that lasted approximately 5-10 minutes.

"I really didn't know we were 'connecting' in that way." Janzen said, "He had mentioned that he was single but I was pretty surprised when at the end of the conversation he said that I should 'tell my husband he was a lucky man'."

Until recently Janzen had never expected to find her mojo again, "I really just thought it was gone and that general frumpiness had pretty much taken over."

While one can wonder if her mojo will continue to build up steam, there is no indication as to the cause of the recent reappearance. There has been no weight loss, no change in wardrobe, no rejuvenating facials at Z's day spa. The only difference in the past week has been the IDT blog.

You be the judge.

Day 10 - Spending Time with Friends

Tonight I was a bachelorette again! Mark was at a wedding, Jack is in the mountains with my mom, and my mother-in-law agreed to keep Merrill overnight. What to do with a free evening?Clean the house, do laundry, work on piles of stuff that keep growing bigger and bigger? These would have all been brilliant ideas that would have made me miserable! So, no.

I had the great pleasure of seeing an old friend. Wait, did I say friend? I thought I didn't see friends anymore? Hooray! It's true - I still have friends! Good friendships are those that can lay somewhat dormant for awhile but pick back up where you have left off like no time has passed. It is so nice to be in the presence of someone who you really, really like but have not seen in a long time.

Here is a picture of Jennifer and Brandon's dogs Lily and Daisy. They are super-sweet but they make Kona look like she is on valium.

Day 9 - My Movie Star Good Looks - lol :)

First of All - I accidentally numbered two posts day 5 so instead of being day 8, this is day 9. Anyway ...Today is perhaps the easiest post ever.

I was having lunch at Betty's sandwiches in Uncle Harry's Baglery when the girl behind the counter said, "You look like a movie star."

I was like, "Wow, really?"

She said,"Yeah, every time you come in here I think you look like a movie star."

At this point I am thinking to myself that this girl might be nuts but since the conversation was clearly going my way I thought, what the heck.

She continued, "You know that girl from He's Just Not That Into You? The one with the brown hair. You look a lot like her."

Yay! I knew who she was talking about and it wasn't Kathy Bates! I was stunned and promptly issued a barrage of thank yous. I told her that she had absolutely made my day - and she had.

I do not presume to think I look like this chick, who I have now identified as Gennifer Goodwin, but I was so extremely flattered that in the midst of my feeling kinda fat and kinda old the sandwich girl thought I resembled someone cute.

Day 7 - Being Good Tired

You may or may not know that I have a very talented sister-in-law. She has fantastic artistic ability and a wonderful imagination. She has always had a passion for design and has most recently been working doing graphic design jobs but she has had a long history of doing stationery and invitations. Anyway, Mariah has more artistic talent in her little finger than I have in my whole body.

About 10 months ago we began formulating a game plan that would pair us together as business partners. Over the course of the next few months we changed direction a few times, re-vamped, started up, started over and then took a few long breaks when life got in the way. Today was an amazing day because not only did we pick up the ball that we had dropped a while ago but we hurled it 40 feet into the air! Wow! We are so close to something really, really cool. When the time is right hopefully y'all will check it out!

In the meantime today did not feel like work at all, it felt like hanging out with my sister-in-law, brother, and nephew. Merrill was a great baby and let us get a lot done. And where I had been feeling so tired that I couldn't possibly give one of my two days off from CPWM to go to work for this venture, now I am energized and see that this was the complete opposite of giving my last remaining energy. It was, to put it in the self-help sense, a sharpening of the saw or filling up the old bucket.

There is a clip of an interview with Harry Chapin on one of his Cd's and he talks about being "good tired" (Also thank you to Uncle Doug for the fact that I even know who Harry Chapin is). If you don't feel like reading you can listen to it on the link above

"My grandfather was a painter. He died at age eighty-eight, he illustrated Robert Frost's first two books of poetry and he was looking at me and he said, 'Harry, there are two kinds of tired: there's good-tired, and there's bad-tired.' He said, 'Ironically enough, bad-tired can be a day that you won. But you won other people's battles, you lived other people's days, other peoples agendas, other people's dreams and when it was all over there was very little "you" in there, and when you hit the hay at night, somehow you toss and turn--you don't settle easy.' He said, 'Good-tired, ironically enough, can be a day that you lost. But you don't have to tell yourself, 'cause you knew you fought your battles, you chased your dreams, you lived your days, and when you hit the hay at night, you settle easy--you sleep the sleep of the just, and you can say "take me away."'

He said, 'Harry, all my life I've painted. God, I would've loved to be more successful, but I painted and I painted, and I am good-tired and they can take me away.'

Now, if there is a process in your and my lives in the insecurity that we have about a prior life or an afterlife and God--I hope there is a God. If He is-- if He does exist He's got a rather weird sense of humor, however. But let's just-- But if there's a process that will allow us to live our days and will allow us that degree of equanimity towards the end, looking at that black, implacable wall of death, to allow us that degree of peace, that degree of non-fear, I want in."-

Harry Chapin

...I am thankful for being "good tired" tonight.

Day 6 - Jack's Love for Life

Today I am thankful for the fact that Jack is having an amazing time with his Grandma Cindy at Dinkey Creek.
When Jack decided to go up for the whole week, I don't think he realized that a week can seem like a really long time away from home. He cried on Friday before bedtime and we talked about what a fantastic time he would have. He wasn't convinced and cried again on Saturday. He gave me giant hugs and kisses before I left for work on Sunday! Side note - hugs and kisses from Jack are phenomenal. He is so sweet and loving. 100% LOVE!
Anyway, I was really worried about him. I kept having this vision of my mom having to drive him down the hill on Monday morning with the thought that he would later regret his decision and want to go back a couple of days later. But, despite having a bit of a rough go on Sunday night, when I talked to him on Monday he was his amazing, sweet, energetic self.
Today he called while I was at Target and I didn't hear my phone. I was beyond disappointed! I hoped and hoped that he would call back and... he did! He was excited because Uncle Mimmy was up there and that meant the campfires were going to be a bit more eventful.
I am so proud of Jack and his ability to fit into any situation. He is so strong and has so much love for life. He is amazingly confident (he recently auditioned for a TV show and while he didn't get the part, I just kept thinking, I would never have had the confidence to do that as a child. He got a call back but no luck in the final selection). He is just super awesome and I am so glad that he feels so at home with my grandma and my mom.
We miss him but Mark and I are glad that he's happy.

Day 5 - Driving through the Foothills

Tonight I was tired. I got up pretty early to meet Peggy, my step-mom to do a Merrill hand-off at 8:30. This meant that Merrill and I both had to be ready for our days. Anyway, after a long day at work, where a fellow worker may or may not have complained about me to one of the managers, I had to decide whether or not to ask Peggy to meet me half way down the hill from their house or to make the drive there and back by myself.
For those of you that don't know my dad and Peggy live a few miles past Table Mountain Casino up Auberry road just a ways. Even though I was tired I decided to go up because it had been a while since I had seen them.
Once I got in the car and set out on Friant road I began to relax and unwind. The way home with Merrill in the back seat was even better. I turned on some good music (Genius mix populated by Southside of Heaven by Ryan Bingham), rolled the window down, and enjoyed the foothills - our foothills. It was warm but so nice. I really enjoyed the ride and even got to see a little jack rabbit (still hopping, not squished) by the side of the road. I just love looking around and seeing different things: an old house with horses, a fence that used to be new looking kind of ragged, new houses being built.
Anyway, it was a lovely little drive for me and for Merrill who stayed awake but seemed content.
12 hours after I left my house this morning I returned home looking forward to my two days off. Merrill and I took a shower so we are both clean and happy!

Day 5 - An Evening Out

Just had a lovely evening out with my husband and Merrill. We went to the Tokyo Steakhouse which is my very favorite restaurant. I had fried rice and filet mignon. They have the world's most delicious teriyaki and spicy sauces and when you mix them together - ah - heaven! Merrill was not totally sure about the fire at our teppanyaki table but she seemed to like all of the goings on and the miso soup and fried rice. I was STUFFED when we left. Good thing I was in a dress that didn't button or zip or otherwise have any sort of encumbrance on the waistband!

Day 4 -Sweet Jack

So we got home from my mom's house tonight and Jack and I turned on the TV. We ended up on PBS watching Great Performances. We were both mesmerized by Jackie Evancho, perhaps for different reasons. It was really strange to hear this big voice come out of this sweet Fitzgerald looking girl! Anyway, I was banned from changing the channel and he begged me to order the DVD for $100.00. I told him he was nuts. Sweet, but nuts.

Day 3 - The AAA Relaxing Station

Today I would like to express my gratitude for the AAA Relaxing Station.

I was first turned onto the concept of the Chinese massage by my sister-in-law, Jennifer, when we worked at Gottschalks together. I was instantly hooked. For those of you that have never been let me give you the low-down.

The Relaxing Station is not for the faint of heart. First, you must be comfortable with a Chinese man, identified only by a number on his name tag, in a red polo and khaki pants doing your massage. Generally speaking they stick to the opposite sex rule to match up clients with masseuses unless they are super busy. Even at that they are known to trade mid-massage. You lay down on a fairly publicly visible massage table whose head hole is padded by a kitchen towel and covered by a Bounty paper towel as a method of preserving its sanitation. They then cover you with a white towel, put on some white cloth gloves, and get to work.

If a professional, high-end spa massage is the Mustang Ranch, then the AAA Relaxing station is the back-alley, back-seat, down and dirty romp. There is no foreplay: no steam room, no fancy terry robes, no water with a slice of lemon for your enjoyment. As the sign clearly states, "This is not a quiet place," which can mean that either the other patrons are talking, often on cell phones, or more than likely that the workers are talking during your massage. My man today seriously took a cell phone call while working on my back. Amazingly, he continued to use two hands so, no harm no foul.

Another consideration is that you must also be comfortable with the man touching your butt. Touching may not be the right word because its a lot more than that. He will inevitably spend some time with his elbow in your butt cheek (Important to note that do not touch your butt crack or any private part!). Anyway, they will jiggle it, massage it, and get you to the point where you are like, "Wow, apparently I hold a lot of tension in my butt." The real catch comes when they are massaging your butt and talking to other workers. In general, it is a little unnerving to have a conversation going on around you that you suspect might be about you that you can't understand. What is even more unnerving is when they all begin to laugh and you think to yourself, "What is so funny about my butt, #74?".

But I digress. I realize that this may sound less than pleasant so far. Add to it the muzack that ranges from Air Supply, Celine Dion, various show tunes, and various other songs that you spend way too much time trying to play "name that tune" with and you might ask yourself, "Why would anyone spend $19 on 40 minutes of such nonsense?"

Well, a massage is a massage after all and these guys are professionals. Beginning with a gentle back-popping - ahhhh - and working into serious elbow in the shoulder action, these guys get all of the spots! The neck, the shoulder blades, your lower back - pressure points you never really knew were there. Now, I'm not going to lie; sometimes it hurts, especially on the legs. They really don't understand much English so, you have to decide if you want to jeopardize a good massage by telling them "softer" if you have a spot where you like less pressure. If you do that you run the risk of your entire massage being softened up a bit. They do the your arms, your legs, a little on the feet, and then they have you sit up and do your head.

Essentially, it is a super-cheap way to leave a shopping center feeling like a million bucks. Upon leaving, your voice is in that relaxed low tone, and they give you a bottle of water for the road.

I really, truly love going to the AAA Relaxing station. I would like to have a red-polo'ed massage servant on duty at the Janzen residence but alas, that is out of the old budget.

Oh - side note, you will occasionally get a masseuse with gas. Hold your breath and bear it; it's all worth it.

(Photo: AAA Relaxing Station at First and Nees. This is the best one because there is usually no wait and there are plenty of men vs women working. The man in the window did my massage today and it was good.)

Day 2 - Starbucks Outdoor Seating w/ Umbrella

Today I am grateful for Starbucks outdoor seating.

I was having kind of a crappy day. I have been fairly emotionally raw and today was absolutely no exception. On my break - oh, also thankful that my break is 15 minutes instead of 10 - anyway, on my break I went to Starbucks for some desperately needed tea. Also, because I love sweets and because I use food to comfort myself in times of despair, I got myself a birthday pop. Now, in case you have not had a birthday pop from Starbucks I can only say that they are DIVINE! They are essentially undercooked cake batter dipped in a kind of waxy pink frosting with little white sprinkles. Delicious. So, after getting my order from the barista (he told me something kind of strange like, "let me know if the drink isn't as magnificent as I wanted it to be"), I was going to go back to the miserably tiny and fluorescent lit Cost Plus break room to console myself with said tea and birthday pop. But when I stepped outside it all of a sudden hit me that it was a gorgeous day and that I should sit outside. Oh my goodness. Ahhh. Just sitting down outside and breathing in fresh air was such a good way to get rid of my sadness and emotional funk. My mind wandered to this and that. After a minute I was relaxed enough to notice an abandon bag sitting by the trash can and began to wonder if there was a bomb. I pondered it for a while. Should I call the cops? Should I go check it out? I quickly dismissed the thought of doing anything about it and went back to enjoying my tea.

It was really good to just get outside and remember why I am working in the first place. It was good to remember that this job was supposed to be a job I didn't take home with me. It was supposed to be a job that I wasn't emotionally invested in. After all, it's just wine, not brain surgery. It's temporary, I keep reminding myself. Yes, my true potential is being wasted but, as Mark likes to remind me, even cave women went out and gathered nuts and berries. So until we have enough nuts and berries I will continue to gather.

Once my break was over I felt much better for having sat in the non-filtered air of the great outdoors at River Park. Well, it's no Dinkey but it'll have to do.

Thank you Starbucks.

Day 1 - Being Alive

I may be fooling myself into thinking that I can actually make time for this endeavor every day but, what the heck. I expect some posts will be super short and I may forget sometimes but, I'm going to try hard to do this. Thanks to Emily L'Heureux, who I don't really know but am nevertheless Facebook friends with, for the inspiration.

So, I thought I'd start out with the big one. Cliche, possibly, but I thought I'd get it out there. Being alive is something I totally forget to be thankful for. Alas, if this were a 1911 instead of 2011, I would be dead a couple of times over. One might view my entire life after 23 as icing on the cake of life.

Since I guess the purpose is to reflect and whatnot here's the scene for you. It was 1998 and Mark and I lived in Lawrence, Kansas in a really nice two-bedroom apartment on Clinton Parkway which was back then the edge of town. I knew things weren't totally right in the old digestive system but I really didn't know why or think that it was anything super-serious. Anyway, my mom, using her supermom spidey-sense had come to visit. She and I were sitting at the kitchen table when my doctor called and told me that I had colon cancer. He couldn't say if there was more, if it had spread, or how bad the situation actually was. I don't know if I was particularly upset right at that moment (my mom might be able to tell you) but, I do remember a month or so later, on a drive to Kansas City for one appointment or another, having this total realization that my life could potentially be very short. On that drive, in Mark's red truck that was really loud because of the kind of tires he had, there was one huge thing that I knew that I wanted more than anything else in life. The thought that I could die before I had children was absolutely horrific to me and thus, becoming a mom went from being something that I wanted to do someday to something that I was meant to do.

Fast forward 12 and a half years. Last week I had this day where I was so tired that I could not do one more dish, fold one more piece of laundry, pick up one more toy, or even contemplate for a moment giving anything more of myself to anyone else. I was seriously like the people on the depression commercials. I was a wreck. There gets to be so much in life that I feel like I "have to do" that I forget that all the toys and the laundry and the energy I put into being a good mom and wife are all part of what make life worth living. I am sitting in my really wonderful back yard right now watching my two amazing and beautiful children play in the sprinkler. There are toys all over the yard that I will have to pick up and even though Merrill is shivering I am going to have to drag both of them kicking and screaming back inside so that I can finish making dinner.

I think about all of the little moments over the last 18 months of Merrill, 7 years of Jack, 12 years of Mark and all of the times with friends and family, some of whom are no longer here and I am just amazed, baffled, awestruck - I could have missed this ALL! Or I guess, we all would have missed this all. Y'all would have found something else to fill the time. Mark might be married to a photographer who is as excited as he is when he gets a new camera and actually keeps her house clean.

Anyway, I am so grateful that I am here to get to live this life.

Thank you.

(Photo: Self-Timer. Around September of 1998 in our apartment. Yes, we lived in sin.)