Day 21 - New Clothes

Scene 1 - Get Over It!
I know, I know, this blog is supposed to be all deep and spiritual where I express gratitude for the really meaningful yet free things in my life. Tough noogies. Today you are reading about a totally materialistic weakness of mine - new clothes.

Scene 2 - How to Stay Frumpy Without Really Trying
A couple of nights ago I went out with a friend to have a few drinks and watch King Sugar (whoo hoo Matt Wall) at Eureka Burger (and whooo hoo my Mom for watching the kids and whoo hoo to Jennifer and Mark for being my drivers!). Anyway, to those of you who saw me that night my outfit was nothing that special and you probably really believed that I had given absolutely no thought to what I was wearing; you would be wrong. I had finally broken down and bought some cargo shorts at Costco that were one size up from what I normally wear. I was happy with the shorts as much of what I wear these days has come from Costco. But the real kicker is that when I had to pick out a top from the selection of "ehh" that is my wardrobe of what currently fits me, I went with my favorite maternity top. That's right folks, 19 months after squeezing that baby girl out I am still wearing maternity tops! What? Now, that one in particular is my favorite but you should know that many of my t-shirts are still maternity wear. Frankly, my pre-baby clothes are way too tight so right now I am relegated to stuff I bought while I was pregnant, hand-me-downs from my sister-in-law, and a smattering of a few tops that I bought last year that I like but can't wear all the time!

Additionally the dress code at Cost Plus is good (solid black, white, grey, or blue tops, and khaki pants or blue jeans) but, it has made it easy to stay frumpy. I work hard so I need to wear clothes I can bend and stretch in. I am on my feet all day so I either need to wear tennis shoes or Easy Spirits. Yes, old grandma Easy Spirits. If you see me on a work day I am more than likely in a black t-shirt and jeans. Or, if I'm mixing it up, I'm in a grey shirt and jeans or a black shirt and khaki's. Needless to say, I have not done much to spruce up the old wardrobe within the confines of my solid color dress code and spending money on clothes that I can't wear to work has just seemed silly.

Scene 2 - GRRRR!
Last week one of my "good pairs" of Ralph Lauren Costco jeans started to split on me. Luckily, I have two of the exact same pant but, they may have some sort of invisible internal clock because even on the pair that is hanging in there, one of the belt loops has broken. This weekend I checked Costco again and they had exactly one type of jeans. It was the Amanda by Gloria Vanderbilt which loosely translates to old lady jeans. Now, I know I am heavier than normal but I'm not dead so, I passed and went for the afore mentioned cargo shorts instead.

Depressed and feeling that I had very limited options, I headed to JC Penny's. After a bit of a search I found two pairs of jeans that fit well. Yes, I went up a size - GRRR! Anyway, with the whole jean situation under control, I opened my eyes to the rest of the store.

Scene 3 - Ahhhhhhh!
I realize I'm not a fashion plate - and I never was exactly - not even when I was a buyer. But, back then I had a grasp on understandable fashion. Walking around Penny's tonight I totally realized that I missed that. It is fantastic to see stuff laid out before you and to be able to understand what's happening and why. Gosh, so much stuff has been going on while I have been in a t-shirt and jeans coma! I went nuts. Well, not nuts but, I spent money like I wasn't trying to save to quit my job. Knit vests, floral tanks, embroidered tops, flyaway cardigans - I couldn't help myself. I recognize that I have been out of it! Not that a trip to Penny's cures all fashion woes and I know I'm not on the cutting edge or anything, but, it was enough to satisfy!

Scene 5 - Why It's Sort of Like Eating Chocolate Kathy Comic Strip Style
I really love how wearing new clothes makes you feel. Even though that outfit will become tomorrow's "ehhh", today it's new and exciting. Today there is nothing you would rather wear. Today you can feel pretty good about what you're wearing, even if you don't feel too good about what's underneath. Sad, right? But true. It's like eating - a quick fix for what is wrong. But, at least it's a fix which is more than I've had in a while.

I sent Mark the total in a text that began with, "I'm sorry for what I'm about to tell you ..." But, in the grand scheme of things I used to spend this much all the time - before and during every market trip - or at Gottschalks less my discount! Now I just get to buy furniture and candy and I'm sorry but it's just not as much fun!

So that's my uber-sad materialistic 4 a.m. post for you. Perhaps I should have followed my own advice when I told Jack it was too late for tea.

P.S. My birthday is coming up and gift cards would be fantastic! ;)

Day 20 - Mark Getting Called Out

I realize I have missed quite a few days - BIG DAYS where a lot of stuff happened. Sorry. Maybe I will get to play catch up sometime. But, as my mother-in-law has informed me, there is a fly lady maxim that advises - I'm not behind; just pick up where I left off.

I had a good, honest laugh today. Mark has been a closet Katy Perry fan for a little while now. This past week one of his "cool" friends decreed on Facebook or Twitter that it was OK to like Katy Perry. Now, having the blessing of someone younger and hipper, Mark decided to play a little Katy Perry for us this morning. I told him I thought he must have a crush on someone or something because there's not much reason to listen to Teenage Dream otherwise. It's certainly not the worst thing I've heard and Merrill seemed to enjoy it as Mark took her for a dancing spin around the house.

Later today we had to go get Jack's haircut. I was impressed with myself because I actually remembered to take a coupon somewhere and use it! So, with coupon in hand we headed to Supercuts. We went to the one at First and Nees because the people at Shaw and Maroa seem to be grumpy all of the time. It was fairly deserted and because we had called ahead we got right in. There was one man waiting and one more showed up while Jack's hair was being cut. The first man was not interested in us at all and seemed a little irritated, undoubtedly due to the fact that we seemed to skip past his turn. The second man was a little friendly and said hi to Merrill before beginning to play with his phone. About halfway through the haircut California Gurls comes on and Jack announces loudly, "Urgh! Katy Perry. My Dad's been listening to this all morning!"

I just about died. The two guys both looked up and the friendlier one laughed. The hairdresser laughed too and asked Jack, "You don't like Katy Perry?". His response was a definite, "No."

Anyway, I thought it was hilarious. I realize that it's not exactly the music that Mark probably likes but, it's not like he's watching the video. He must be having a little movie in his mind. And now that you know about his recent change in musical taste, you can give Mark a hard time too!

Day 19 - Another Close Call

I have been employed by Cost Plus World Market since October. In that time I have had three accidents while on the job.

The first was somewhat minor. I sprained a wrist when the weight of a dining table in a box shifted in a way that I wasn't ready for. I wore a splint for a few weeks, felt better, re-injured it, wore the splint again, and then was fine.

The second accident was much more scary. I was up waaay high on a slide ladder in the stockroom. When I fell I landed on my side, injuring my knee. I had x-rays, crutches, restricted duty, physical therapy - the whole nine yards. But the crazy part about that was that had the stockroom been in its usual packed state or had the pallet jack been scooted over say, six inches, things could have ended VERY BADLY! Very badly.

So, then my boss was fired (also long story where somehow I was the scapegoat for the whole situation which is sort of crazy), anyway, I, being insane and forgetting myself for a moment, interviewed for the job. Yes, I have 15 years of retail experience. Yes, most of that time I was managing people and millions of dollars but, apparently, this did not really matter much. I am actually fine with the end result which was not getting the job; in hindsight, being the assistant manager would have totally sucked. I was on the fence about it anyway. But the point of that story is that in lieu of a promotion I just got "additional responsibility". I was crowned the Safety Captain. I, who had both injured her wrist and fallen off of a ladder in the 4 or 5 months that I had been there, was made the Safety Captain.

As the Safety Captain, I am supposed to talk to people about each month's safety topic and have them sign off on a sheet that we send into corporate so everyone can act like we are all doing the right thing. The topics have been: stretching before work, using safe cutting techniques, and using Big Joe (the forklift thing) properly.

So, fast forward to yesterday. My bosses have been a little anal about cutting wine boxes perfectly straight and I've really been concentrating on trying to do this. But, alas, there are certain things I am good at and certain things I am not and cutting a straight line on a wine case with a safety razor blade is one of the things that I totally suck at.

Yesterday, I was in the wine department putting out a new wine and cutting the top off of the box. It was a Spanish wine and I totally forgot that Spanish wines tend to come in cheap and easy to cut boxes. I was cutting the top off the box when, it turned to butter. My knife sliced through and whoosh, it hit my left wrist. Blood came instantly. I began to freak. I thought that I was headed to the ER. What? Suicide by wine box? Maybe people have contemplated it but, that's not the way I want to go out! But, after a minute there wasn't as much blood as there initially seemed to be. So, after having washed it off and bandaging it up, I went back to work. I worried that I might have MRSA and go into a coma. I worried that half of my body might have to be chopped off like the episode of Oprah where a chef accidentally cut herself with a knife at her restaurant and ended up with half of her face missing among other things. You can imagine my relief when I actually woke up this morning to find that I was not in a coma and that no amputations were necessary.

I am totally thankful that I didn't catch my wrist just a little harder. I am grateful that there is a little extra fat on me right now that kept the blade from slicing any deeper. What a crazy insane accident that could have been so much worse.

There is a quote from the Baz Luhrman Sunscreen song that has sort of stuck with me over the years,

"What ever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either -
Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's"

It's not that cutting my wrist at work was necessarily a choice (insert existentialist argument here) - obviously not. But the point is, things can always go a different way. Yesterday was probably 1 millimeter away from being a hideously bad day but, it wasn't. It was a normal day and that is good.

P.S. love this song. Played it for the seniors during my student teaching at Central and they liked it too.