Day 21 - New Clothes

Scene 1 - Get Over It!
I know, I know, this blog is supposed to be all deep and spiritual where I express gratitude for the really meaningful yet free things in my life. Tough noogies. Today you are reading about a totally materialistic weakness of mine - new clothes.

Scene 2 - How to Stay Frumpy Without Really Trying
A couple of nights ago I went out with a friend to have a few drinks and watch King Sugar (whoo hoo Matt Wall) at Eureka Burger (and whooo hoo my Mom for watching the kids and whoo hoo to Jennifer and Mark for being my drivers!). Anyway, to those of you who saw me that night my outfit was nothing that special and you probably really believed that I had given absolutely no thought to what I was wearing; you would be wrong. I had finally broken down and bought some cargo shorts at Costco that were one size up from what I normally wear. I was happy with the shorts as much of what I wear these days has come from Costco. But the real kicker is that when I had to pick out a top from the selection of "ehh" that is my wardrobe of what currently fits me, I went with my favorite maternity top. That's right folks, 19 months after squeezing that baby girl out I am still wearing maternity tops! What? Now, that one in particular is my favorite but you should know that many of my t-shirts are still maternity wear. Frankly, my pre-baby clothes are way too tight so right now I am relegated to stuff I bought while I was pregnant, hand-me-downs from my sister-in-law, and a smattering of a few tops that I bought last year that I like but can't wear all the time!

Additionally the dress code at Cost Plus is good (solid black, white, grey, or blue tops, and khaki pants or blue jeans) but, it has made it easy to stay frumpy. I work hard so I need to wear clothes I can bend and stretch in. I am on my feet all day so I either need to wear tennis shoes or Easy Spirits. Yes, old grandma Easy Spirits. If you see me on a work day I am more than likely in a black t-shirt and jeans. Or, if I'm mixing it up, I'm in a grey shirt and jeans or a black shirt and khaki's. Needless to say, I have not done much to spruce up the old wardrobe within the confines of my solid color dress code and spending money on clothes that I can't wear to work has just seemed silly.

Scene 2 - GRRRR!
Last week one of my "good pairs" of Ralph Lauren Costco jeans started to split on me. Luckily, I have two of the exact same pant but, they may have some sort of invisible internal clock because even on the pair that is hanging in there, one of the belt loops has broken. This weekend I checked Costco again and they had exactly one type of jeans. It was the Amanda by Gloria Vanderbilt which loosely translates to old lady jeans. Now, I know I am heavier than normal but I'm not dead so, I passed and went for the afore mentioned cargo shorts instead.

Depressed and feeling that I had very limited options, I headed to JC Penny's. After a bit of a search I found two pairs of jeans that fit well. Yes, I went up a size - GRRR! Anyway, with the whole jean situation under control, I opened my eyes to the rest of the store.

Scene 3 - Ahhhhhhh!
I realize I'm not a fashion plate - and I never was exactly - not even when I was a buyer. But, back then I had a grasp on understandable fashion. Walking around Penny's tonight I totally realized that I missed that. It is fantastic to see stuff laid out before you and to be able to understand what's happening and why. Gosh, so much stuff has been going on while I have been in a t-shirt and jeans coma! I went nuts. Well, not nuts but, I spent money like I wasn't trying to save to quit my job. Knit vests, floral tanks, embroidered tops, flyaway cardigans - I couldn't help myself. I recognize that I have been out of it! Not that a trip to Penny's cures all fashion woes and I know I'm not on the cutting edge or anything, but, it was enough to satisfy!

Scene 5 - Why It's Sort of Like Eating Chocolate Kathy Comic Strip Style
I really love how wearing new clothes makes you feel. Even though that outfit will become tomorrow's "ehhh", today it's new and exciting. Today there is nothing you would rather wear. Today you can feel pretty good about what you're wearing, even if you don't feel too good about what's underneath. Sad, right? But true. It's like eating - a quick fix for what is wrong. But, at least it's a fix which is more than I've had in a while.

I sent Mark the total in a text that began with, "I'm sorry for what I'm about to tell you ..." But, in the grand scheme of things I used to spend this much all the time - before and during every market trip - or at Gottschalks less my discount! Now I just get to buy furniture and candy and I'm sorry but it's just not as much fun!

So that's my uber-sad materialistic 4 a.m. post for you. Perhaps I should have followed my own advice when I told Jack it was too late for tea.

P.S. My birthday is coming up and gift cards would be fantastic! ;)

Day 20 - Mark Getting Called Out

I realize I have missed quite a few days - BIG DAYS where a lot of stuff happened. Sorry. Maybe I will get to play catch up sometime. But, as my mother-in-law has informed me, there is a fly lady maxim that advises - I'm not behind; just pick up where I left off.

I had a good, honest laugh today. Mark has been a closet Katy Perry fan for a little while now. This past week one of his "cool" friends decreed on Facebook or Twitter that it was OK to like Katy Perry. Now, having the blessing of someone younger and hipper, Mark decided to play a little Katy Perry for us this morning. I told him I thought he must have a crush on someone or something because there's not much reason to listen to Teenage Dream otherwise. It's certainly not the worst thing I've heard and Merrill seemed to enjoy it as Mark took her for a dancing spin around the house.

Later today we had to go get Jack's haircut. I was impressed with myself because I actually remembered to take a coupon somewhere and use it! So, with coupon in hand we headed to Supercuts. We went to the one at First and Nees because the people at Shaw and Maroa seem to be grumpy all of the time. It was fairly deserted and because we had called ahead we got right in. There was one man waiting and one more showed up while Jack's hair was being cut. The first man was not interested in us at all and seemed a little irritated, undoubtedly due to the fact that we seemed to skip past his turn. The second man was a little friendly and said hi to Merrill before beginning to play with his phone. About halfway through the haircut California Gurls comes on and Jack announces loudly, "Urgh! Katy Perry. My Dad's been listening to this all morning!"

I just about died. The two guys both looked up and the friendlier one laughed. The hairdresser laughed too and asked Jack, "You don't like Katy Perry?". His response was a definite, "No."

Anyway, I thought it was hilarious. I realize that it's not exactly the music that Mark probably likes but, it's not like he's watching the video. He must be having a little movie in his mind. And now that you know about his recent change in musical taste, you can give Mark a hard time too!

Day 19 - Another Close Call

I have been employed by Cost Plus World Market since October. In that time I have had three accidents while on the job.

The first was somewhat minor. I sprained a wrist when the weight of a dining table in a box shifted in a way that I wasn't ready for. I wore a splint for a few weeks, felt better, re-injured it, wore the splint again, and then was fine.

The second accident was much more scary. I was up waaay high on a slide ladder in the stockroom. When I fell I landed on my side, injuring my knee. I had x-rays, crutches, restricted duty, physical therapy - the whole nine yards. But the crazy part about that was that had the stockroom been in its usual packed state or had the pallet jack been scooted over say, six inches, things could have ended VERY BADLY! Very badly.

So, then my boss was fired (also long story where somehow I was the scapegoat for the whole situation which is sort of crazy), anyway, I, being insane and forgetting myself for a moment, interviewed for the job. Yes, I have 15 years of retail experience. Yes, most of that time I was managing people and millions of dollars but, apparently, this did not really matter much. I am actually fine with the end result which was not getting the job; in hindsight, being the assistant manager would have totally sucked. I was on the fence about it anyway. But the point of that story is that in lieu of a promotion I just got "additional responsibility". I was crowned the Safety Captain. I, who had both injured her wrist and fallen off of a ladder in the 4 or 5 months that I had been there, was made the Safety Captain.

As the Safety Captain, I am supposed to talk to people about each month's safety topic and have them sign off on a sheet that we send into corporate so everyone can act like we are all doing the right thing. The topics have been: stretching before work, using safe cutting techniques, and using Big Joe (the forklift thing) properly.

So, fast forward to yesterday. My bosses have been a little anal about cutting wine boxes perfectly straight and I've really been concentrating on trying to do this. But, alas, there are certain things I am good at and certain things I am not and cutting a straight line on a wine case with a safety razor blade is one of the things that I totally suck at.

Yesterday, I was in the wine department putting out a new wine and cutting the top off of the box. It was a Spanish wine and I totally forgot that Spanish wines tend to come in cheap and easy to cut boxes. I was cutting the top off the box when, it turned to butter. My knife sliced through and whoosh, it hit my left wrist. Blood came instantly. I began to freak. I thought that I was headed to the ER. What? Suicide by wine box? Maybe people have contemplated it but, that's not the way I want to go out! But, after a minute there wasn't as much blood as there initially seemed to be. So, after having washed it off and bandaging it up, I went back to work. I worried that I might have MRSA and go into a coma. I worried that half of my body might have to be chopped off like the episode of Oprah where a chef accidentally cut herself with a knife at her restaurant and ended up with half of her face missing among other things. You can imagine my relief when I actually woke up this morning to find that I was not in a coma and that no amputations were necessary.

I am totally thankful that I didn't catch my wrist just a little harder. I am grateful that there is a little extra fat on me right now that kept the blade from slicing any deeper. What a crazy insane accident that could have been so much worse.

There is a quote from the Baz Luhrman Sunscreen song that has sort of stuck with me over the years,

"What ever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either -
Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's"

It's not that cutting my wrist at work was necessarily a choice (insert existentialist argument here) - obviously not. But the point is, things can always go a different way. Yesterday was probably 1 millimeter away from being a hideously bad day but, it wasn't. It was a normal day and that is good.

P.S. love this song. Played it for the seniors during my student teaching at Central and they liked it too.

Day 18 - Daylight and Salad

Tonight I am thankful that it is still light outside at 7:45 pm. Summer days are the best because as long as you are off at a normal human hour you get some sunlight in your day. The days are longer and because of it you have more energy. This is not to say I was a ball of fire tonight but, I did get treated to a lovely dinner with my mom and grandma at Yukon Jack's. And now I have made it home and it is still light outside! I would seriously love it if days were this long all the time.


I am also thankful that I took the time to make a salad to take to work today. Yes, the Yukon Jack's mini pulled pork sandwiches on potato buns negated all of the good work having a salad for lunch did for me today but, it was a step in the right direction. Tonight I saw an absolutely hideous picture of myself that I may share at some point. I looked at it and thought, "Am I holding a pillow or stuffed animal on my lap?" But, alas the answer was no; it was just my big belly. Seriously? This is what my belly looks like right now? And the arms? Blah. Anyway, seeing the picture may have inspired me to get a grip! I have only gone swimming once this year which is totally unheard of for me. Anyway, hopefully I will swim some laps soon and maybe even lay out in the sun if I can steal a little time away ...

Day 17 - Tri-Tip

So, yes, I am grateful for tri-tip. And why not? It's delicious. A California specialty, it can be difficult to find in other parts of the country. I know because when we lived in Kansas there were absolutely no tri-tips at the Hy-Vee.

Mark makes the best tri-tip ever and tonight he made two of them! We ate one for dinner and plan on using the other for sandwiches this week. It was absolutely out of this world delicious. Perfectly cooked. Perfectly seasoned. We had a nice salad and brown rice to go along with it. Even Merrill took a few small bites of tri-tip!
Anyway, I am grateful for a good meal while watching the Giants game.

Day 16 - Jack and Merrill

So, right now the baby is standing here crying at me. She was asleep on the way home but the second I got out of the car Jack yelled a question at me really loudly, thereby waking her up. I am totally tired. I forgot to take my antibiotic this morning and left it at the house. It is only a twice a day one so hopefully I did not royally screw it up. My pants nearly split today at work so they are currently being held together by duct tape. I am just walking in my door at 9:30 at night after leaving at 8:30 this morning. I have to be awake with kids ready at 9 am tomorrow so that I can take the kids to the Janzen's house so that Ken can watch them tomorrow until Mark gets home from Temecula. I almost passed out at work today while I was unloading boxes because it was like a million degrees in there. Customers were needy as hell and I had two of the three rudest customers I have had the entire time I've worked at Cost Plus. So, this it the day I knew would come. The very last thing on Earth I feel like doing is blogging about how great things are.
But, they are and that's they whole point of this blog so, lets get to it.
Jack is sweet and he just gave me a big sweet hug. He will be sleeping in Mark's spot again tonight. I know he is getting to be a big boy now but when I look at him I sometimes see my beautiful little boy. The one that used to sing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" to me. He used to play with my hair when I would tuck him in at night. That used to put us both to sleep.
Jack went to his first party on his own today. It was a swim party and now his shoulders are pink with sunburn (that should keep us warm tonight). He was beyond excited about going to this party and apparently it did not disappoint. Thanks to my mom for dropping him off all the way out by Wild Water Adventures (or Clovis Lakes as we old-timers call it). So tonight, I will read him Harry Potter even though I could fall asleep at this instant. After all, he deserves some good mom time.
So, I am thankful again for both of my beautiful children. I know that even though times are crazy busy and hard, their childhood will not last forever. I am off now to enjoy what I can of it on this night.
Leslie

Day 15 - Being Yourself

So today I met a couple of people that I thought were interesting.

First, Mark and I met a man who is surely a multi-millionaire. He owns two shopping centers in two nice areas of Fresno. He has owned one of them since 1969. And I'm not talking ghetto centers. I mean nice, good, successful shopping centers. So, why was I so impressed with this man? First, he was meeting with us personally to show us a couple of spaces he had open in his centers. He rolled up to our appointment in a beat up red early 90's pick up. I am guessing there was no A/C because his window was rolled down in this heat! The paint was totally faded and actually completely gone in spots. He hops out of his truck and is wearing a purple t-shirt and shorts. I don't know, something about this guy just struck me as cool. As we began to talk he got even cooler. He just seemed like some regular old guy - like he lives on social security and a little pension from some job that he had for thirty years. He was generous with his time and modest except for when I inquired as to if he had children, which he then bragged on. Anyway, he was just really neat. There was not a pretentious bone in his body.

The second interesting person I met today was a - well, I guess she was a transvestite? I can't say for sure if there had been operations or whatnot. Perhaps she was simply a cross-dresser. It was somebody who is or was a dude who was dressed like a lady (enter appropriate Aerosmith hook here). She was nice and was looking for wine for a party. She was dressed like a housewife from another time; like a sitcom mom. Florence Henderson might even be too modern. Think June Cleaver. But part of what was so striking, other than her general friendliness and 5 o'clock shadow, was a manly looking tattoo on her forearm peeking out from under the short sleeve of her delicate printed pink blouse. I was desperately trying not to be distracted by all of the contradictions that seemed to pull together and co-exist in harmony on this very intriguing person.

The third person that I spent some time with today was my brother. When we were teenagers he learned how to play guitar. He would play songs that we knew back then and I would sing. It was always fun. Once we were both married I ended up taking a guitar class through Fresno Adult School. I learned a few basic chords and from then on I have enjoyed messing around with the guitar from time to time. I am no good AT ALL but, my real goal was never really to play well, it was just to learn to play well enough to sing along. About 6 or 7 years ago I wrote a song. Most of my family has heard it but somehow Ted had not. So, tonight he came over and I played my song for him. In return, he played two of his songs - well really two and a half - for me! They were fabulous! I feel really fortunate to be one of two or three people who have heard them.

It's really difficult sharing not only your voice with someone, but also sharing music you have written. Writing songs can be sort of a private thing. It's really hard to lay something out there and say, "I wrote this and I like it." Sometimes when I start messing around with songs I think, "Blah, this is so cheesy and bad", and I quit. So, inspired by this evening, I may see if I can come up with a new song or two for him to play.

My point with these three stories is that there are some people who try and hide who they are. Worse yet, there are some people who try to intentionally deceive you. But, my favorite kind of person is an authentic person: someone who is open and honest about who they are, what they do, what they hope to do, and who they hope to become. All three of these people were laying it all out there for me today. The millionaire seemed to be doing what came easy and naturally to him. The transvestite probably had some sense of courage that many of us can't even fathom having. And my brother who has an open and honest character tonight demonstrated a subtle courage needed to share something very personal like music.

So today I am thankful for all of those who have the courage to be open to our crazy world and the people in it!